Shatter Me
by AnimeFanGirl2223
Summary: Todoroki was getting ready to kill someone across the street and just happened to have his pant leg tugged on by Midoriya, a young man being kept prisoner by Shigaraki. Todoroki has every intention of killing both of them, but can he actually go through with it?
1. Chapter 1

**Figured I'd do a pilot chapter for this little chaotic mess of a story since it's been consuming my mind lol**

**BE WARY OF TRIGGERS! READ THE TAGS!**

**As always, let me know if another tag needs to be added! :)**

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Shatter Me

Chapter 1

I guess in hindsight, I was always different. For as long as I can remember I couldn't seem to fit in with anyone or do anything right. My mother loved me for a time and actually, I look almost exactly like her. My hair is nearly white it's so pale, face shape and features clearly modeled after hers. But I have heterochromia and one of my eyes is a startlingly blue… It's the only part of me that resembles my father and that small anomaly is what made her hate me. My own mother scalded my face when I was only four years old—She was trying to burn my father out of me, I think, but it didn't work.

People tell me that I'm lucky she didn't blind me in my left eye, but I disagree. She was right to try and cleanse me as she did; I am wicked and it certainly didn't come from her. Case in point, my favorite pastime is killing people; it's the only thing that brings any semblance of meaning to my otherwise abysmal life.

I'm currently standing in the darkness of an alleyway, smoking a cigarette while waiting for my target to come waltzing down the street. I have a perfect view of his front door from here and I know about what time he should arrive.

This particular victim of mine really deserves it. I understand the irony of thinking such a thing when I myself am a serial murderer, but at least I have a moral code, as warped and twisted as it may be. He doesn't; he hurts innocent women and so I'm going to hurt him.

It's been about a week since I started my careful stalking. Though I have plenty of money to bribe my way out of being convicted if I was caught, I find it easier to just be cautious in the first place. The nicotine helps keep me calm while I carry out my dutiful analyzing; I find it almost exhilarating to know that he has no idea he'll be dead in just a few more days.

"Shit!" I nearly scream, jerking from my position. It was light, but I'm certain I felt something tugging my pant leg. It's hard to see anything in the dimness of the night, so I pull out my flashlight, first searching for and retrieving the soiled cigarette I'd dropped—Can't leave DNA just lying around.

After a bit of awkward crouching, I find a window that's been boarded up from the inside. The glass is caked with dirt and grime of some kind, but if I angle my light just right, I can almost see someone moving behind the wood. I turn off and then pocket my tool, hoping that whoever is there will either show themselves or leave me alone.

It takes another few moments, but one of the boards starts shifting to the side and a somewhat dainty hand presses against the glass, pushing it towards me. Honestly, I don't know why I reach out to help, but I do. It takes minimal effort to completely lift and then hold the disgusting piece of glass up, though the moment I move to help, the hand retreats quickly. No matter; patience is one of my better attributes.

In the meantime, I dig through my hoodie pocket and light another cigarette as my nerves are certainly on edge after being startled like that. The sound of my lighter appears to draw whoever is inside back over, however, the wooden board sliding off to the side once more.

I almost drop the newly lit smoke from my lips when I catch sight of big, curious green eyes peering up at me. The 'culprit' is a young man, somewhere between late teens and early twenties, though you could easily mistake him for being younger with his slender, malnourished frame and innocent expression.

I can't seem to stop staring at him; He's beautiful in the strangest way—but he's also clearly not well. The shirt he has on is stained with God knows what and is several sizes too big, hanging off of one of his shoulders. With the exposed skin, I can see hickeys in varying degrees of healing and scars. **_So many scars_**. They seem even more prominent given how thin and pale he is, his clavicle completely visible and protruding. His hair is unwashed and tangled; A bruise coloring his cheek… This kid has been through the wringer.

I don't know how long I was staring for, but soon there's a hesitant smile on his lips and that quickly refocuses my attention. How on Earth could he possibly be smiling after what he's no doubt been through? I hear slight clinking as he raises his free hand, revealing crooked, scarred fingers and a bulky chain hooked around his wrist.

The young man points at my face and I nearly go cross-eyed trying to see what he wants. I take the cigarette from my lips and his gaze follows it; I'd wager he was peeking out like this when I lit up the first time and that's why he tugged at my pant leg. Usually, I try not to endorse bad habits but if someone deserves to do whatever the hell they want, it's him.

This one is almost halfway done, however, the ash sprinkling the ground from my movement. I put it out and he almost looks betrayed, returning his now watery green eyes to me with a pout on his lips. The sight makes my stomach flip, something strange flickering just behind my sternum. I'm compelled to move a little faster and pull out the pack I'd been drawing from, giving it a light shake before holding it out.

He looks hesitant, like he's not sure it's worth it to take one from me... like he'll be punished if he tries. I bring it to my lips and pull a fresh one out with my teeth, quickly lighting it and inhaling. The young man swallows slightly as I blow the smoke out to the side and offer it to him once more. That brilliant grin is back and he takes it this time, drawing in a long puff before raising up higher on his toes to exhale over the edge of windowsill; I hope he doesn't fall off of whatever he's standing on.

"Thank you…" he whispers and I'm certain I've just heard the voice of an angel. "Master gives me one as a reward if I'm good, but he forgets sometimes."

Oh, this bastard is so dead. I have no idea how long this boy has been down here, but his statement wasn't fearful or full of resentment… it was like he was reciting a fact and had no clue that he was being treated badly. It's a shame I'll have to kill him too, but I can't have any witnesses; he would be able to identify me for not one, but two murders if I were to let him go.

"How'd'ya get eyes like that?" he asks next, peering up at me shyly.

It's not really 'my thing' to speak to anyone, but he sounds so innocent, so pure. I guess responding wouldn't be the end of the world. "They were like this when I was born; it's called heterochromia."

His dark, delicate eyebrows furrow cutely and I have the most unnerving urge to smile; I never smile. He struggles to mimic the name of my condition, stumbling over the word a couple of times before he gets it right.

"Heterochromia…" he repeats again and I nod with approval. That seems to make him even happier and he almost bounces with excitement, opening his mouth like he wants to ask something else. We both hear a door slam in the distance, however, and his eyes go wide with fear; whoever is keeping him prisoner is back.

I take the half-smoked cigarette from him and quietly put the glass back in place, able to make out a grateful smile and wave before the wood is slipped back down too. The criminal across the street is temporarily pushed to the back of my mind as I walk out of the alley and find the apartment number, committing it to memory.

* * *

It really isn't necessary for me to come back to this particular spot in the alley to survey my newest target; I could just as easily do recon from the alley on the opposite side of the building or even from one across the street. But I find myself drawn to that little window like a moth to a flame despite having no intention of making contact with the inhabitant.

From a preliminary check, I found that the scum that lives here is named Tomura Shigaraki and that he 'works' as a drug dealer. Knowing that, I arrive for my first in-person scouting session much later than usual, figuring that he'd probably be up for a good portion of the night.

Just as I crouch and pry open the glass to see if I can catch a glimpse of the boy being kept prisoner, however, my stomach drops and I feel my chest tighten. The rhythmic creak of rusting metal combined with nauseating, husky moans and lewd slapping sounds makes me almost cringe. If I had a heart, it would most certainly be breaking from hearing the young man's sweet, shy voice reduced to a mess of pained whimpers and periodic muffled shrieks.

Impulse almost makes me throw caution to the wind and go kill the sick fuck now, but I'm able to stifle the desire. Being hot-headed isn't my style to begin with and I don't have enough information on Shigaraki to know if he'd be physically capable of overpowering me or if he has a weapon near him. If I'm killed because I go in without a plan, the young man will continue to suffer even more.

His yelps get louder and more shrill after a time, the rocking faster and uneven as Shigaraki gets closer to his climax. I taste blood in my mouth by the time I hear a euphoric moan followed by relieved panting.

My teeth stay clamped on my tongue until I make out what I believe to be the creaking of stairs and a door slamming shut. I swallow the iron-tasting fluid and let out a heavy breath, steam washing around from the near frigid autumn air.

I was already planning on shifting the loose wooden board out of the way to 'check-in' on the young man, so I continue with that objective, completely removing the glass and setting it aside before quietly slipping my blade in between two of the slabs to push it to the side.

Sure enough, I find the boy curled up on a stained, bare mattress; I must have missed it before since I was so focused on staring at him. He's got the arm he's laying on wrapped around his stomach and the other pulled up to his face, covering it as he cries. I don't like it.

It's a huge risk, but this time I'm unable to curb my impulse. "Hey!" I whisper, already digging through my pocket for my lighter. His whimpers quiet and stall some, body uncurling the moment I run my thumb down the ignition strip to cause the 'flick' sound.

"H-Heterochromia?" he hiccups, clearly confused as he sits up. I watch as he rubs those teary green eyes in the darkness of his room like he can't believe I'm really here.

I set my lighter down and use my free hand to pull out my cigarettes next, awkwardly attempting to stay on the balls of my feet while I crouch and hold the wood out of the way. Though it takes me a moment, I eventually pull one from the pack and show it to him, nodding when his face seems to light up.

It's pitiful watching him slowly maneuver to his feet and limp over, especially when he has to stack some boxes and climb up to get level with the window. But the smile he gives me when I let him have the little cancer-causing stick strangely makes the last sickening half-hour worth it.

In the moonlight, I can see a fresh bite on his neck, his anemic skin puffy and red where teeth broke through in some places. "Does it hurt?" I question, blinking at myself as I hadn't planned on making conversation.

He looks confused for a moment before touching the area I'm staring at, his eyes dulling for just a moment before they regain their sparkle. "Yeah, but it doesn't hurt for long… Master likes marking me as his—He says that it's proof that he loves me. I have lots of them, see?"

A tremor of rage pours through me when he pulls his filthy shirt down to show me more evidence of Shigaraki's 'love'. I keep my reaction in check though; there isn't any reason to upset his innocent, coerced beliefs.

He slips his right arm through the gap, effectively holding the board out of the way so that I can withdraw my hand. All I can focus on, however, are the terrible scars that run up the length of his humorous when he lays his forearm flat against the asphalt and blows out another puff of smoke.

"And those?" I question. "Are those also proof of Shig—your Master's love?"

"O-oh… No… I was bad and Master punished me." He explains, his face startling moments later as he looks between me and the cigarette I gave him. "But I'm a good pet now, I swear!"

"I'm not going to take your reward from you," I assure quietly. He calms considerably at my words and I'm once again drawn in to every little movement he makes, specifically his throat this time. Maybe when it's time to kill the two of them, I'll strangle him; he has such a soft, fragile-looking neck.

"C-Can I touch your hair?"

I'm pulled from my deranged fantasy by his hesitant, yet hopeful voice and force my eyes back up to his. My expression must have shown my confusion though because he dips his head down some and almost hides behind the lower edge of the window, leaving only those inquisitive emeralds peaking up at me.

"I… well… Master and I both have curly hair, but yours is so straight and soft looking…" he explains bashfully with a beautiful flush creeping across his previously ashen complexion.

This must be what he wanted to ask me last time, I assume. I'm tempted to say no on the grounds that it's a little unnerving and will mean I have to actually kneel in the filth of the alley, but honestly, how could anyone say no to an expression like his?

Somehow, I end up nodding and shifting to my knees, nearly doubling over for him to easily reach my head. His giggle is melodic when he runs his fingers through my locks and I can just imagine the awe and excitement spread across his face; I bet it's beautiful.

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**Yep... I'm a hot mess lol BUT I hope you enjoyed that pilot! :) Likely more to come on this story!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey friends! I'm so ready for this coronavirus BS to be over, but from what I hear, it's going to be a while... And of course, as an essential worker, I get to experience all the fun! *rolls eyes***

**Check out some of my other MHA stories if you're interested! I've got like 15 of them ongoing at this point because *SQUIRLL* **

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Shatter Me

Chapter 2

It's been nearly a month since that pitiful yet endearing young man tugged at my pants to get a cigarette from me. I would have already killed him and the man keeping him locked up but murdering their bastard neighbor and waiting for everything to 'cool down' took time.

No one made too big of a fuss over the other piece of scum 'going missing' and I doubt anyone will miss the son of a bitch I'm going to kill next either. Shigaraki's one hell of a piece of work, but I am as well and I'm going to use all of my depravity to make him pay for everything he's done.

That being said, there are several steps required to being a successful serial murderer—at least if you don't want to get caught. I've already done my snooping to determine Shigaraki's habits regarding entering and leaving the apartment, so now I need to get a sense of the layout.

One would think in a neighborhood as rough as this one it would be more difficult breaking in, but honestly, it's Childs play getting inside the dingy, rotten smelling apartment. He'll be getting back from his usual drinking/drug selling venture in about two hours, so I set to work… sort of.

I have the most annoying urge to go and see the young man he's holding hostage… check on him again just to make sure he's actually still alive. I only make it about halfway through my 'inspection' before succumbing to the desire.

The steps creak ominously under my weight as I make my way down into the basement but my focus is more on the sound of that damned chain rustling around than anything else—until I hear that sweet voice calling out.

"Master?"

I'm not sure what expression to have as I finally step into his view, so I keep my face blank. Unfortunately, the apprehensive happiness on the boy's face stutters, first warping into confusion before a resigned sadness takes over.

"Do you recognize me?" I ask, disturbed by how upset he seems to be with my presence.

He nods mechanically and sits back on the filthy mattress he'd climbed off of, pulling his knees to his chest. "Heterochromia…"

I watch him intently for a moment, trying to determine what caused the downward shift in his behavior. It bothers me that although there's recognition, he doesn't look calm… there are fear and distrust peaking in his irises as he analyzes me from beneath a mess of tangled curls. I know what to do though—he unknowingly told me when we met. I pull out my pack of cigarettes and retrieve one, holding it out for him to see. "Do you want one?"

My skin crawls from the veiled bribe and I feel slimy since I know this is likely one of the tactics Shigaraki uses to coerce obedience out of him. Judging from his reaction, he is at least semi-aware that he's being unfairly persuaded as well.

His eyes bounce between the ground and me as he eventually decides to accept my offer. I stay perfectly still while he reaches towards me and takes the cigarette and lighter, fighting the urge to scowl at the fake smile he attempts to keep on his trembling lips.

I need something to distract myself with as I don't want to frighten him any more than I apparently already have and I'm aware that I have a tendency to creepily stare. It's probably wise if I know the layout of the basement as well, so I let my gaze wander, internalizing every dried splatter of mystery fluid and insect carcasses lining the dingy carpet. When I turn back to him, I find that he's still watching me, green eyes lowered but following every move I make with that hesitant curiosity.

"I'm almost done, I promise…" he quickly states when he notices my attention is back on him. He inhales deeply, finishing off the cigarette before putting it out on the wall.

I shake my head and held out the entire pack for him to take this time. "You don't have to hurry for me; I just came by to give you these. It's our secret though, so don't tell anyone that I was here."

The confusion and then sparkle in his eyes makes me both content and nauseous for some reason, but I try to keep both sensations to myself as I hand him the box and turn to leave. His voice calls out, however, and I pause part-way up the stairs.

"T-thank you…"

I know my voice will tremble if I respond, so I keep quiet and continue upstairs to finish my snooping.

* * *

_**~Time-Skip: 1 Week~**_

With Shigaraki's wonky schedule and the fact that I need to do my 'work' at night, I don't have the time I usually would to drag things out too long, so the moment Shigaraki leaves, I sneak in and start setting up. Really, the only true difference between tonight and every other evening I've killed someone is that this time it will be two.

I do intend on taking special care with my second victim, however, as he's dying out of necessity rather than punishment and therefore deserves to be as comfortable as one can be while being murdered. There's no way I'm going to kill him in the dungeon he's been held captive in for so long though, which means I'll need to get him upstairs.

Just like when I came down here a week prior, I hear a chain shuffling around followed by his voice calling out 'Master?'. Another round of surprise, distrust, and thankfully a bare hint of happiness swirls on his face when I step into view and give him a wave, putting me slightly at ease; at least he's not totally upset by my presence this time.

"Heterochromia!" he chimes, twisting some to dig around under his pillow.

He withdraws the pack of cigarettes I'd left him with the week prior and at first I think he's going to give it back to me now that it's empty… but I'm wrong. His thin, crooked fingers plunge in and withdraw the last one in the box, holding it out for me proudly.

"I saved it for you!" he declares, gracing me with a genuinely kind-hearted smile. "I know you said they were for me, but, Master tells me these are expensive and since you gave me a whole pack I thought I should make sure you had one if you came back!"

I can't help but wonder how this poor creature is still so good-natured after what has clearly been years of terrible abuse. If I'm having a relatively stressful day, I can finish off at least one pack without trying and his every day makes the worst of mine seem like a breeze… Yet he'd neglected his own cravings just on the chance that I might want a cigarette and not have one the next time I stopped by—if I did at all.

I can't help but let the corners of my lips turn up in what I'm sure is a pitiful attempt at a smile, but it seems to make him even more proud of himself. "That's very kind of you… but you may keep it. I brought you more, see?"

The boy's eyes bulge out of his head when I reveal another box for him to take, though this one I laced with sleeping drugs so that I could get him set up for his demise comfortably. It will take a few minutes for the effects to take hold even if he chain-smokes them, however, so I go ahead and move on to phase two.

"I brought you something else too… Are you hungry?" I question, repressing a sigh as he practically trips with excitement and nods. He's looking at my hands and around me; I can only guess he thinks I'm hiding a treat. "Good, we'll go upstairs for you to eat…"

That has him reeling backward and shaking his head however, cowering from me. The sight has my chest in knots, tongue twisted as I try to find words to calm him back down; I didn't expect that level of fear.

"N-No! Master says pets don't go upstairs, never upstairs!"

"Okay, okay…" I soothe, holding my hands up as he paces back and forth and wraps his arms around his ears. "If I ask your Master for you and he says yes, would it be okay then?"

Those crystalline green eyes peer up at me once more, little glittering droplets of tears already dripping from the curls of his lashes. He approaches me again slowly, hands wrung together and fisting his shirt with hesitation. "Mas-Master's h-here? Y-You are f-friends?" he questions.

I nod even though I think I feel a muscle in my neck spasm from the action. The young man still looks nervous, however, and rather confused. He flickers his eyes between me and the 'bed' mattress behind him as though he's trying to figure something out. His eventual response, however, has every fiber—every atom—of my body vibrating with rage.

"B-but Master's friends and I play games here… Is there a b-bed upstairs t-too?"

I have to consciously keep my face from contorting into some mix of horror and murderous intent. How many people could Shigaraki have let come down here to defile this innocent soul for him to ask something like that? It's going to be hard I'm sure, but I'm going to track down every damn person that's touched this sweet beauty and kill them too.

"You have nothing to worry about," I state, forcing my voice to remain even. "I want to go upstairs though; if your Master gives me permission to bring you, you'll come up there with me, right?"

He bites his lower lip but ultimately nods. I don't think I've ever felt as loathsome as I do right now. But I climb the stairs to pretend I'm going to speak with Shigaraki and return a few minutes later with the key I found hanging near the basement door.

"Your Master said you're to come with me and do as I say. He gave me the key to your chain, see?"

I can't figure out what emotion comes over his face next, but he holds his slender wrist up for me, watching intently as the metal clicks open. The skin beneath is raw and thickly scarred like one scar would heal only for another to be layered on top of it.

I grip the wounded limb without thinking and run my thumb around the angry red lines, being careful to avoid touching one of the tender areas that are likely only days away from severe infection. "What do I call you?" He questions quietly as I begin leading him up, his expression devolving into one of resignation and maybe even denial. "W-when we p-play the game I m-mean…"

I tighten my grip slightly around his crooked fingers and have to take a moment before responding. "I told you that you don't need to worry about games. You can keep calling me Heterochromia if you want, but my given name is Shoto… what's yours?"

Not smart at all, I know. I truly know better than to give any personal details about myself to anyone, especially someone I'm going to murder in a few hours… but I don't seem to have common sense or restraint when it comes to him.

"Master didn't give me a new name…"

I frown and stop climbing just before the heavy door at the top, looking down at his lowered head; That explains why he never offered it up the few times I visited his window. "Then what was your old one? It's okay, you can tell me and it will be our little secret like the cigarettes"

He swallows thickly, but I can see he's interested in my offer. After a moment he gestures for me to lean down since he's two steps below me. I oblige and bring my head to his level, letting him whisper into my ear like a child. "Izuku…"

"It's nice to meet you officially, Izuku," I state, pushing the door open to lead him the rest of the way. He becomes more agitated the further away from the basement we go, his hand shaking in mine by the time we enter the living room and get to the couch.

"Shh…" I coo quietly, giving him what I hope is a comforting expression. He does indeed relax some and takes a deep breath, but then reaches for the front of my jeans, catching the belt and almost undoing it before I realize what's happening.

"Izuku, wait…" I urge, grabbing his wrists to halt his movement. He flinches like he's about to be struck, recoiling submissively. "You're not in trouble," I assure quickly, using my thumbs to rub gentle circles on the abused flesh.

"Am—am I supposed to j-just lay s-still?" he questions, and I swear there's almost relief tugging on his features. How awful that 'just laying still' is preferable to him; it makes me wonder what horrible things he's had to do.

"We aren't going to play any games; you're going to eat, remember? Master told me to tell you that it's okay. I'm going to get you some food and you're going to sit on the couch and eat, that's all." I explain again, earning another look of quiet disbelief.

"Don't you want—I mean, aren't I supposed to—" he attempts, each question stopping abruptly as his cheeks flame red with a mixture of shame and embarrassment. "S-sometimes this is part of the game too… pretending not to play…"

I can only bring myself to shake my head that no, I have no intention of raping him tonight or ever. He still looks confused but there's a little twinkle in his eye again, very reminiscent of the first time we saw each other. He's grateful…

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**Eek... That's some fucked up writing if I do say so myself... Welp... Can't say my other works are rainbows and sunshine either though!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm really not wanting to go back to work (this is week 3 of me being at home due to a sinus infection that just WON'T GO AWAY). I know I need to because *money* and *screwing over my other managers*, but I'm not about that coronavirus life when I'm immunocompromised and I could get my grandma sick... Ugh. Decisions.**

**I got some new keychains though! I'll try posting it on Twitter so everyone can see my obsessive need for them XD I'm Agirl2223 on Twitter and I also post snippets from potential stories I'm working on! Follow me and I'll follow you back!**

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Shatter Me

Chapter 3

"Wait here, okay?" Shoto tells me and I nod obediently. He's so different than Masters's other friends… he doesn't even want to play the game 'foreplay' with me and everyone who's ever visited wants to do at least that… usually more.

He told me not to worry, but I'm really uncomfortable as I sit waiting for him to come back. Master has only had me come upstairs a few times since I came to live with him and that was only when he was really punishing me for something.

"Here…" I hear him call and my mouth starts watering. Shoto comes back in with a plastic bowl filled with rice—way more than I'm usually allowed to have. He hands it to me with chopsticks and then watches as I take the first bite. My tongue lights up the moment I stuff a large chunk in my mouth; this has so much flavor!

"Does it taste alright, Izuku?"

I'm pretty sure my eyes roll back a little in my head when I help myself to another mouthful, but I manage to nod. "So, good… Thank you, Shoto."

It's hard to describe Shoto's face. He never quite smiles at me, but there's a softness in his expression that I can't help but feel calmed by. At most, the corners of his lips will twitch up slightly like they're doing now and it makes my stomach flutter; I like knowing that I've done something to please him.

"I'm glad you like it. I want you to eat as much as you want and then we can just sit for a bit and smoke… would you like that, Izuku?"

Tasty food with no mold in it and cigarettes with no games at all? I don't think I've ever been spoiled so much in my life. Part of me wonders what I'm going to have to do in the future since I'm receiving this kind of treatment, but maybe Shoto won't make me do anything that hurts too much.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I ask in between bites, trying to take my mind off that unnerving thought. "Do you want some of my food? You gave me so much…"

"No, I've already eaten tonight; that rice is just for you," Shoto explains gently though he kneels beside me and stares at my wrist again. "And if these are hurting you, I have some ointment that will make them numb… I want you to be comfortable tonight, Izuku."

I'm tempted to ask why since he promised me we weren't going to play, but I don't want to upset him. Even if Shoto isn't going to punish me for something, that doesn't mean Master won't if he finds out I've misbehaved or didn't please his friends like I'm supposed to.

"They don't really hurt… I'm okay…" I assure, refocusing on my food. I feel awful because I'm already getting so full and I've only eaten a small part of what he gave me; I don't want him to think I'm ungrateful… I force myself to swallow a few more bites, though they're considerably smaller than the ones I'd been eating.

"Izuku," Shoto calls gently, reaching for my bowl with that soft look in his eyes again. "If you're full you don't have to keep eating; I don't want you to feel sick."

I stare at the rice sadly; I really don't think I can eat anymore without throwing up, but it's so rare for me to get this much food at once and it tastes so good. "I…" I start, feeling my eyes burn. "B-but…"

"It's okay, Izuku. You aren't in trouble for not finishing all of it. Here, why don't you have one of these and then you can rest for a bit." He offers, pulling out the pack of cigarettes he'd shown me earlier. I sniffle a little and try to smile for him since he seems to like it when I do, taking one from the pack gingerly.

"T-thank you, Shoto."

* * *

Izuku ate all the plain white rice he could physically hold like it was a fine delicacy before dozing off on the couch—a sleep that was helped along by the drugs I'd dosed him with. The piece of 'furniture', if it could even be called that, was as gross as the rest of this place, but was apparently like sleeping on a marshmallow to Izuku; he shouldn't wake up for a good several hours.

It isn't long before I hear the front door open and rattle as it's slammed closed and I know the man of the hour has arrived. I'm well prepared at this point and pull out my taser, shifting until I'm out of his direct line of sight when he enters the living room.

The bastard stops in confusion upon seeing Izuku snoozing like a content bunny and I take my aim, sending hundreds of volts coursing through his disgusting body until he's nothing more than a choking mess on the ground. I sneer as he falls into unconsciousness and roll my shoulders; getting these scumbags ready for their imminent demise is one of my favorite parts of the entire night.

My process is fairly simple. I cover whatever room I'll be working in with plastic since I tend to make quite a mess and then I set up my makeshift autopsy table. It's about coffee-table height so that I can kneel while I work and has a few holes drilled into it where tubes drain all of the blood into containers for later disposal. Lastly, I set out the various utensils I'll be using, get dressed in my own 'protective gear' and then I wait for my victim to arrive.

As I've already done the setup and have Shigaraki incapacitated, I put on my full body plastic suit and goggles, checking each of my materials one last time before stripping him nude and laying him on the polished metal. His arm is covered with track marks from God knows what drug, but I guarantee he's never had the one I inject into his vein.

I have to take a deep breath to calm myself before I grip him by the hair and pull his head up enough to press smelling salts to his nose. He wakes up in an instant and I almost shudder in delight from the fear and panic that's on the heels of his consciousness.

It really is something special to see the look in my victims' eyes when they realize they're paralyzed. My drug is very special and exclusive since I paid good money to have it created and given only to me. Once in the bloodstream, a person is rendered totally immobile while remaining completely alert and receptive to pain.

"Good evening…" I coo darkly. "I'm running a little behind tonight, so let's skip the formalities and get started, shall we?"

I'm pleased to see fear pulsing even more violently in his dark eyes; it really is one of the most rewarding parts of this hobby. I take my time and show him the manual bone saw I brought along, my voice smooth while I explain what I'm about to do.

"I think I'm going to start with your feet and work my way up, but I'll be sure to cauterize the major veins and arteries as I go with this blow-torch. I can't have you bleeding out before I'm finished."

I cut slowly, precisely, savoring every back and forth motion as the sharp, jagged blade slices through tissue, muscle, and bone. Each joint is my target, taking a piece of him bit by bit to ensure he's in agony for the years he's hurt Izuku.

Blood spurts occasionally and gushes, trickling down the delicate contours of my personalized table into collecting jugs. Every time I completely remove part of his body, I lift it over his face to show him—a few toes, a foot, his lower leg… If he wasn't being forcefully kept awake by my special drug, he'd have certainly passed out more than once. It's almost poetic that blood drips onto his face as I do this, running down his cheeks like little red tears.

I think one of my favorite parts of the ritual happens right after I show these vile creatures the piece of themselves I've amputated. My handy 'bucket' sits right by where I kneel on the ground and I can't resist dropping the hunks of body parts into it. The dramatic 'thunk' is music to my ears, but the exact opposite to theirs. The look they get in their frantically fearful eyes every time it rattles gives me goosebumps.

I've so far removed everything below the knee and from his elbows down to his fingers when the gut-wrenching sound of a horror-filled gasp pulls me from my euphoric state. I don't even need to look back to know it's Izuku, but I was sure he smoked enough drugged cigarettes to keep him out cold until I was done.

I set down my hand saw and stand up slowly, knowing this is probably going to result in a chase; If I were in his position I'd certainly run. As expected, he bolts the instant I look back at him and I take off as well. With our considerable difference in fitness and the fact that he's out of his mind with terror, I catch him without trouble.

My hand flies over his mouth and he begins thrashing more violently; I suppose that makes sense as I'm smearing his Master's blood over his lips. "Shhh…" I attempt, hoping that he'll tire himself out soon. "I won't make you suffer that much when it's your turn… Please calm down or I'll have no choice but to force you to."

He sobs and screams behind my muffling hand, even attempting to bite me without success. I'd truly prefer to let him exhaust himself but as I told Shigaraki, I'm running behind and his adrenaline is giving him far more energy than I'd anticipated. Though it isn't ideal, I give his ribs a rough squeeze with the arm I have wrapped around his upper body, feeling them bend and very nearly crack from the pressure. He jolts and silently shrieks, but stops struggling and goes limp as his head falls back against my shoulder.

At first, I think he's passed out only to see his eyes absolutely pouring tears as they bulge from his head with pain and fright. "I'm sorry," I state, "Truly I am… I didn't want to do that to you."

What makes this unfortunate incident worse is the way he trembles and somewhat looks away from me; I have no doubt that he's heard something along those lines before. Pushing the displeasure from my mind, I slowly release my grip and remove my hand from his mouth, twisting him to face me. "You're going to do as I say, aren't you Izuku?"

He nods disjointedly, skin slick with sweat that's rapidly soaking his through his shirt. When I feel confident he won't disobey, I slip my arms under him and lift him bridal style, carrying him back to Shigaraki's room.

"Close your eyes," I order, this time ensuring that I don't sound as intimidating as before. He does as he's told, though I think he would have done so anyway without my say so. His lids were already drooping halfway from pain, fatigue, and probably shock.

I set him on the plastic that I draped over the mess of blankets covering Shigaraki's bed and retrieve my bag, pulling out zip ties. He's rocking back and forth by the time I cross the room again, soft sobs sneaking out from his lips even though he has his hands covering them desperately to stay quiet.

I make sure I'm blocking his view of the grotesque scene behind me and try to make my expression comforting even though I'm certain he's too traumatized to care. "Okay, Izuku. I want you to open your eyes, but only look at me."

This time it takes longer for him to obey, but those waterlogged lashes flutter open eventually. I show him my hand before I slowly reach out and begin petting his cheek, not knowing how else to console him… that's what my mother did with me before she went insane.

"I'm going to tie you up now… hold still for me." I don't like having to do this to him either since the skin on his wrists is already so chaffed, but just because he'd being docile and obedient now doesn't mean he'll stay that way; I really don't' have time for another escape attempt.

Izuku doesn't take his eyes off my face while I work, his sniffling only interrupted by hiccups and small whimpering sobs. I wish he hadn't seen this; he's so upset and that's not at all what I'd intended for his last night alive.

"Don't be afraid, Izuku." I urge gently, peering deeply into his watery gaze. "I promise I'll show you mercy when I kill you. I've kept my word so far, haven't I?"

He searches my face for what seems like forever after I speak and it's a more than little unnerving, but I refuse to look away; I need him to see that I'm going to take care of him when it's his turn. The poor boy is still trembling like an Earthquake but he ends up nodding, the act making me feel relieved.

"Good. Now lay back and keep your eyes closed unless I tell you otherwise; you don't need to see this."

I press Izuku back even though he moves on my command and have to mentally sigh at the turn tonight has taken. It's anything but ideal, especially when I turn to my current victim and find that he's bled out quite a bit while I was tending to his captive. Shigaraki's a mess of blood, sweat, tears, and snot at this point, but at least I'll be able to cut off a few more limbs before he succumbs entirely.

Unfortunately, the next piece I callously drop into my bucket causes Izuku to jolt and whimper since he knows what's happening. I ignore it at first, but in all honesty, I don't like the idea of him being this scared before it's his turn even if I've sworn this isn't what I'm going to do to him.

By the third frightened squeak, I've decided that this current set up isn't going to work. I strip off my gloves once more and rummage through my bag, retrieving the headphones I use when I'm cleaning up. Izuku quakes with terror when he hears me coming back towards him, but I coo and pet his cheek once more—it seems to help a little.

"Izuku, open your eyes again."

His sclera is entirely bloodshot and his face is streaked with red. "Do you like music?" I ask when he obeys, receiving a look of blank-confusion in return. "I prefer violin and piano renditions of current pop songs… Here, let me put these over your ears."

He's rightfully tense as I slip the headset over his unruly hair and readjust the size, but he still doesn't look away from me just like earlier. It's becoming more and more unsettling to have someone look at me as he is right now; It's somewhere between total trust and distrust, hope and despair.

He squeaks when the music starts, whipping his head around in different directions until he realizes that the headset I put on him is the culprit of the sudden noise. I keep the volume loud enough to drown out what I'll be doing once he's settled, but not so loud that it hurts him.

While it's only barely there, I can see he likes whatever song the shuffle setting landed on, his breathing calming as he focuses on the sound.

"Back to work…"

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**Lol well... what do you think guys? Were you expecting that turn of events? Let me know what you thought of the chapter!**

**Also, feel free to check out my other MHA stories if you're interested! I have some straight-up fluffy ones and some darker, WTF ones! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Ugh... So I start work again tomorrow but I'm only going to be doing 2-3 days a week to relieve other managers since I'm such a high risk (and are directly responsible for someone who is also high risk) for coronavirus infection. That 3:00 AM alarm though... yikes that'll be rough after waking up at like 8 the last few weeks XD. **

**Follow me on Twitter! Agirl2223**

**PLEASE READ: One of my really good friends on here has been feeling kind of down so maybe ya'll would be kind enough to leave her some encouraging words. Her name on FF and A03 is Mekabella21 and she has some bomb stories for MHA as well as other fandoms! We, fanfiction lovers, have to stick together and lift each other up; I'm counting on you!**

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Shatter Me

Chapter 4

I felt really strange when I was smoking the cigarettes Shoto gave me and then everything went dark for a while, but when I woke up, I saw him cut—I can't even think about it; it's too awful. Master was just lying there… and there was so much blood. I won't ever be able to get that image out of my head! Words can't even describe what I'm feeling right now… He was my friend… he didn't make me play games… Shoto was supposed to be different!

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice whispers that he is different though… that he isn't like my Master or the other men that have come to see me. He's gentle, considerate. I've never been around someone who treats me like he does.

I feel the headset get pulled away from my ears and tense but find that once I look into his eyes again, I'm not as afraid as I was earlier—not as afraid as I probably should be. Seeing Master was a shock, but Shoto promised that he wouldn't make me suffer like that and I want to believe him. Just once, I want someone to mean what they say.

"I'm going to take your pain away now, Izuku. It will only hurt for a few minutes and then it will be over, okay?"

His voice is just as calm as it always is and I do my best to focus on the sound, letting him lift and carry me as I look around to see what he's going to do. My heart does pound a little harder when he puts me on the table my Master was dismembered on and straps my feet in, but one look at that ever-expressionless face and I have the strangest feeling that I'm safe.

"Izuku…" he starts when he notices me staring again, his voice hesitant as uncertainty fills his beautifully mismatched eyes for the very first time. "Is there anything else you want before we begin?"

Well, that wasn't what I was expecting him to say when he called my name. There is one thing I want though… as silly as it is. I bite my lip as I mull over asking for it; it would probably be smarter if I chose something else, especially since he could say no but—

"Izuku, tell me what it is you want and it's yours…" he calls, and I clack my teeth shut. Of course, I was stupidly muttering out what I was thinking again. I have to take several breaths before I work up my nerves, but since I'm about to die, it's now or never.

"W-would you…" I start nervously, swallowing mid-sentence as I look away. "K-kiss me?"

I desperately want to explain my reasoning, but nothing else can get past the lump that forms in my throat when I see utter shock run rampant on his exclusively blank face. Master and his friends would kiss me, but it would bruise my lips and taste bad… If I could have one thing, it would be to be kissed like the people in the movies Tomura rents for me sometimes. I want to feel special like that, just once… and since now is my last chance, I hope Shoto can give me that.

My face heats up more than it ever has before and I think my brain short circuits when he awkwardly nods. All I can do is close my eyes when he starts leaning over me, shuddering when his breath ghosts over my lips.

He stops just shy of actually touching me and pauses there for a moment. My heart flutters with anticipation and I close the small distance myself, my head tilting up just enough to brush our lips together.

A tremor runs through my spine when I feel his lightly calloused fingers trailing up my jaw to my hair, his palm cupping my cheek as he puts more pressure into the action and slowly moves his lips against mine. This… this is what I dreamed about when I saw those characters together—it makes my toes curl and goosebumps rush across my skin… I swear electricity just sparked through my veins.

There's a breathless smile on my lips when he pulls away and I bring my bound hands up to touch the still tingling area. I'm not sure why he agreed to do it, but I'm so happy that he did… I almost feel like I can go in peace now. I open my eyes slowly, finding Shoto watching me intently.

We both stay soundless for what seems like forever, but eventually, I break the silence; I never was very good at being quiet. "Y-you promise it won't h-hurt for long?" I question, searching his face for truth. If he tells me it won't, I will believe him; somehow, I know Shoto wouldn't lie to me.

He doesn't respond for some time though. His eyebrows are twitching almost, like he wants to frown but can't completely do it and there's something else in his usually deadpan expression that I don't recognize.

"I promise, Izuku." he finally answers, swallowing almost nervously.

His fingers slide down to my throat next, thumb rubbing my windpipe before he wraps them around my neck in a tight grip. A ripple of fear rushes down my spine and I reach up to hold onto his bicep, keeping my eyes locked with his since the look in them always makes me feel safe.

My air is slowly cut off by his hand and I can feel my face starting to burn more with each passing second. It isn't long before I can't get a single breath in or out and my feet begin jerking against the restraints as my body fights for survival. Black spots start dotting my vision while I convulse, tears pouring from my bloodshot eyes once more.

Shoto leans down and rubs his nose in my hair; I can hear him 'shhh-ing' me, murmuring for me to relax and just let go… telling me that it's almost over. My crooked fingers fall from his arm as I force my eyes to focus just one more time before my mind becomes too fuzzy and I do my best to do as he's asked, hoping that in my last moments I'm being a good pet for him.

Shoto lifts his head when I relax and our gaze overlaps for a split second. I can see that 'something' that had been lurking in his expression earlier explode, but everything is getting dark and I can't hold on long enough to see what it means… but that's okay… I'm fine with this ending.

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I groan with discomfort; my head is absolutely pounding. It feels like when Master won't let me have my medicine and I get all shaky and sick. His dismembered body flashes through my mind, however, and I yelp slightly as I rocket up. My head spins from the action, but it seems to be made worse as I'm pulled by nothing in particular one way, rolling until I smack up against something hard.

I blearily look around to figure out where I am, but almost everything is dark. The only place light is coming from is a small screened window just above me on the wall. I crawl to it, stumbling a few more times when that strange pull starts again. It's like whatever I'm in is turning, but I'm not so I just kind of…tumble in the wrong direction. Even the floor feels like it's vibrating some.

I can't stand long enough to see what's on the other side though, my limbs feel like they aren't really a part of my body. Did I get sent to hell after Shoto killed me? I might have misbehaved sometimes, but I thought overall, I was good for Master… I don't understand why I deserve this.

I begin weeping softly as I curl up into a ball and wish for mercy. Eventually, though, I'm too thirsty to cry anymore and just stare numbly into the darkness. It seems like hours and hours before whatever I'm in stops moving entirely and I hear a door open and close.

I don't move though; I'm petrified. Is this one of the demons Master told me about? There's a wrenching sound in front of me and then a rush of light that hurts my eyes. To my complete shock, Shoto is standing there looking almost as confused as I am.

All I remember is him choking me… Did I not die like I was supposed to after all? Will he punish me? He promised I wouldn't hurt anymore, but now I'm not so sure.

"Come here, Izuku." Shoto orders once he's shaken the surprise from his face and at first, I don't move at all… I just stare at him with overwhelming uncertainty.

With a quick glance around the little space I'm in, I know I don't exactly have a choice though. There's no way out but the direction he's in and I already know that he's faster and stronger than I am. Maybe if I'm good and make him happy he'll keep his promise and take away my pain.

"Izuku, I'm your Master now and you will obey me; Come here."

Even now as he scolds me his voice is so soft… so kind. I like hearing it and I'm too tired and overwhelmed to resist, so I move towards it. I have to crawl since my limbs are still uncooperative, but he offers me his hand when I reach the edge of the space.

Almost immediately after I take it and plant my feet on the ground my legs collapse. My last Master would have just let me fall, but Shoto doesn't; he catches me and hoists me back up into his arms. Just like when I was being suffocated on that cold slab, I'm comforted despite my terror.

Now that I'm not sobbing, I can smell him better too; it's like spearmint gum and maybe cinnamon? It's hard for me to tell since I don't get to smell either of those things often but I'm pretty sure I'm right. I press my nose into his neck and do my best to relax; my own neck is killing me.

His heartbeat is so steady while he carries me, but when I see that he takes me into a bathroom, mine starts to stutter with fear. The sink is huge and has a lot of space to put things on; if I wasn't panicking, I'd probably admire the crisp whiteness and little bits of silver marbled in. But all I can think about when he sets me on it is that I'm about to be punished for not doing what he said the first time he asked; water punishments are the worst.

"P-please, Master…" I whimper, pulling his attention away from the tub he'd begun filling. "I'll be g-good from now on I s-swear…"

He watches as my gaze fearfully turns to the rapidly accumulating water, his brows furrowing slightly before realization replaces his puzzlement. I'm practically quaking as he comes back towards me and pets my cheek like he did earlier.

"I'm just giving you a bath, Izuku. It will feel good, I promise."

I let out a shuddering breath and nuzzle his palm. 'Baths' were anything but pleasant with my last Master. If I got too dirty, I was just given a rag and a bucket of water since the bathtub was upstairs. It was alright when it was warm but sometimes when it was cold in my room, I really hated it. Shoto gets another look in his eye that I don't recognize, and I realize I must have been mumbling again; I can't get away with anything with my stupid mouth.

He turns from me and I close my eyes with worry; I may not know exactly what that look meant, but I know it wasn't good. The water turns off and it makes me shiver, but I stay exactly where I am until I feel his hand gripping mine and helping me to my feet once more.

My face steams with embarrassment when he starts lifting my shirt up and pushing the boxers off of my hips; no matter how many times I played games with Master and his friends I could never seem to stop turning red and getting flustered. I watch him without directly looking and am shocked to see that his eyes aren't roaming over me like theirs did; It causes goosebumps to form all over me, but not in a bad way.

I really have to look away when he takes off his own shirt. Master wasn't as thin as me, but he didn't look like Shoto does—none of his friends did. Shoto's beautiful. The sound of his pant buckle unlatching and the clothing falling to the floor somewhat dispels the butterflies in my stomach though; I never like this part of the game.

"I'm going to put you in the water and clean you now," he hums, and I swear his voice becomes deeper as it ghosts over my ear. "If you are uncomfortable or want to do something yourself, just tell me."

An involuntary shudder rumbles through me and I mechanically nod, letting him lift my naked form and slowly lower me into the large tub. The moment the water touches my skin, however, I start wondering if maybe I did die, and this is my heaven. I sigh from the wonderful warmth surrounding me, lazily grinning as I think I might want to be cleaned every day.

The next hour or so is repetitive in the best way. He gently but firmly rubs the cloth all over my skin and then uses this strange shower head that pulls out of the wall to rinse the parts of me that stick out of the water.

He goes over every area more than once, again and again until he seems satisfied that whatever he thinks is on me has been removed. I couldn't care less; I love the way it feels and would happily get dirty again if it meant this kind of treatment. The best part though is when he gets to my head.

"Close your eyes, Izuku." I hear him tell me and I do so without hesitation. "If they start to sting, tell me and we'll rinse them out."

There must be a word for someone as talented as him. His fingers are amazing as they slowly sink into my hair and begin massaging; I can't help but let my closed eyes roll back slightly when his nails slowly scrape over my scalp. He cleans my face too, rubbing the cloth in small circles everywhere until it's time to rinse and repeat again.

I'm truly sad when he drains all the water and gives me one more full-body rinse before helping me out, but that changes when he wraps a fluffy towel around me and delicately pats me dry. I watch with affection when he opens a few drawers and pulls out a brush and toothpaste, handing them to me.

"I'm going to go and find you something to wear." He states, leaving me for the moment.

If there's one thing my last Master was fanatic about, it was me taking care of my mouth. I have no idea why, but it was kind of nice to be able to wash out bad tastes whenever I felt like it and though Shoto hasn't made me taste anything yucky yet, I'm happy he will let me brush my teeth too.

I'm wiping my mouth off when Shoto comes back with a shirt and boxers—both of which absolutely drown my considerably smaller body as I slip them on. I don't think I've had new clothes in years… I certainly haven't had ones this clean and soft; there isn't even a single stain on them!

Shoto somewhat frowns down at me though and guides me to sit on the toilet lid before running his fingers through my damp hair. At first, I'm all kinds of nervous since I'm eye level with his muscled navel, but I figure I've been given the treat of a nice bath and it's time for me to 'be a good pet' as my last Master put it, even if my throat's still sore. I didn't like the way my mouth tasted when Master and his friends had me do this, but for Shoto, I won't even make a face if I'm told to swallow.

I'm about to reach up to pull him from his boxers when he starts speaking again, his fingers twisting a few of my matted curls. "I'll have to cut some of the larger tangles from your hair, but we can worry about that tomorrow."

My chest spasms and I feel like slapping myself; of course, he wasn't going to make me play the game… he promised. I feel guilty for even thinking Shoto would do such a thing, but that's all I've known for well over a decade. He scoops me into his arms once more, and I wrap my arms around his neck, silently apologizing while he carries me into the adjoining room.

The light was off when we first walked through, but now I can see a big bed that looks like the ones I saw in magazines Master brought me sometimes… actually, the whole room looks like it should be one of those pictures I dreamed about getting to see in person. There's even a huge window on one of the walls and it doesn't have any wood covering it! I can't see anything because it's nighttime, but just the hope of getting to look through it one day has my heart thumping wildly.

Shoto must have noticed my longing gaze because as soon as he maneuvers me to my feet at the edge of the bed, he grips my chin and tilts my face up to his. It startles me a little, but the hold isn't tight and painful like when my last Master would do it.

"This is your room now, Izuku. I'm not going to put a chain on you and I won't lock the door or window, but I want you to stay in here unless I come to get you, do you understand?"

I think my heart stopped or maybe started beating really fast? I'm not sure because I really and truly must be dead. "This is mine?" I whisper incredulously. "I stay in here now?"

He nods and I sway on my feet, completely overwhelmed by the sudden development. Once again, those strong arms are cradling me until I'm set down on the softest thing I've ever laid on. Shoto tucks me under the covers and as he does, the sheets glide across my skin; it feels like there isn't anything friction—like I'm lying in clouds.

"Sleep well, Izuku."

I meant to say something in response, but I'm not sure I did. I'm too comfortable, too tired… I likely fell asleep immediately.

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**Thanks for tuning in, friends! I'm so happy ya'll are still reading and hope you enjoy it! I always appreciate your comments so, please consider checking out Mekabella21 and her stories too! She's amazing and deserves a lot of attention for all the work she puts into her fanfiction! **

**Stay safe!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So, I posted a chapter of 'What I've Done' earlier today (My 2nd Villain Deku fic) and stated in the notes I was going to try and get my six-pack/Plump Omega Butt going by actually exercising... Well... I had a plate of chips and a Ham N' Cheese sandwich cooked in butter so... FAIL. lol, Maybe I will still get some crunches in before I couch potato for the rest of the night.**

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Shatter Me

Chapter 5

I can't remember much from when I was a small child, but all of my clear memories are the same. I've never felt empathy or remorse and certainly not love. I can understand that others feel fear and suffering, but I don't feel bad when they experience it… at least I didn't until I met the fragile force of nature that is Izuku. It's more than just believing that he doesn't fit the criteria for my sadistic ritual; I don't WANT him to hurt for any reason.

That became abundantly clear the moment I laid him on my table. Izuku had just witnessed me slowly dismembering his 'Master' while he was still very much awake and alive. I had nearly crushed his ribs when he ran from me and I caught him. I directly told him that I planned to murder him… Even after all that, his big green eyes were full of childlike innocence and trust when he gazed up at me; he looked at me like I wasn't a monster.

It was like getting slapped with a wall of emotions that I don't remember ever feeling. I tried to placate my unease by offering to let him have something else… compensation for having his pitiful life cut short before he'd ever experienced anything worth living for.

And all he wanted was a kiss—not one that was full of lust and violence like he'd been forced to receive in the past, but something chaste and loving. I obliged despite my reservations because it seemed like the proper send off to what I'm certain will be an afterlife full of everything he should have been given here on the hellhole we call Earth.

As it turns out, it was the biggest mistake of my life. The moment my lips touched his, that 'slap' of emotions turned into a full-on 'hit and run' from a speeding train. There aren't words to describe how it felt and that's why I didn't say anything once I pulled away… I couldn't understand it—I still don't understand it; I felt something deep in my chest for what seemed like the very first time.

But I couldn't backtrack; it had to be done. So, I promised Izuku that it would only be uncomfortable for a short while and wrapped my hand around his delicate, bite-mark scarred throat. Every second I spent trying to choke the life out of him, I felt like I was dying too though.

To keep my resolve from wavering any farther, I hid my face in his hair as if it might make it easier to finish the job without having to see his fearful yet still trusting eyes fluttering as he slowly suffocated. I whispered encouragement in his ear, hoping to ease his transition as best I could until I felt him relax in my hold.

But Izuku hadn't passed out when I raised my head back up.

He was still barely clinging to consciousness with this… this look… There were understanding and contentedness in his expression that went against everything that had happened to him already—went against what I was doing to him then. Izuku didn't deserve to die like that.

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I had used more caution than necessary when I was lacing Izuku's cigarettes since he's so thin, but the dose of morphine I gave him after realizing I couldn't actually go through with killing him should have been enough to knock him out for several hours… except he somehow woke up anyway and I found him curled up in a little ball of tears.

Once I started scrubbing the filth from his arms and was in a room that had sufficient light though, I could more easily see track marks on his arms that matched Shigaraki's. The bastard had been drugging him with something—likely heroine if I had to guess and Izuku has a high tolerance for narcotics now.

My new ward will certainly be in a world of hurt by morning as he begins withdrawal. I promised him he wouldn't suffer anymore; he'd probably think he was being punished if I made him detox so soon after coming here. That won't do.

Now that I've brought him to my house and had time to think through my rash actions though, I realize I'm so totally fucked. Izuku needs medical attention that I'm simply not qualified to give—a fact that's kind of a dick punch for me as I usually can handle everything on my own.

It's not like I can just pop into a clinic with him though. He's very clearly been kept prisoner and it wouldn't take much to figure out that I kidnapped him from the bastard that was keeping him hostage after torturing him to death… and the guy across the street too. It's not like they'd ever find evidence of foul play, but Izuku would be an eye witness.

Then there's also his fragile state of mind. For whatever reason, Izuku seems to trust me implicitly… but I don't know why or if it will last. He could very well be in shock right now and wake up in the morning with a total fear of me—the asshole that just hacked the guy that's been 'taking care' of him for the past fifteen years into pieces.

Whoever treats him will have to be inherently non-threatening and someone trustworthy. I'd never forgive myself if Izuku was hurt or taken advantage of by someone I let near him. There's only one person I can think of that may be able to help me without a heavy bribe and my constant concern.

She took care of me after my mother scalded my face and then stayed on as the personal doctor to my family. So many times I'd see her almost break contract and call the police on my father, but she never did… I begged her not to. It was a twisted belief back then, but I associated getting beaten with her coming around. If I was taken from my father, I wouldn't be hurt anymore, but I wouldn't get to see my pseudo-mother either.

"Chiyo?" I question quietly when the line connects, wincing slightly when I see that it's just after five in the morning.

"Shoto? Is that you?" she responds, her initial grogginess quickly evaporating as her voice becomes almost alarmed. "What's wrong?"

This might be a terrible idea. My father 'disappeared' just after I turned eighteen and her contract to keep what she saw and did at the Todoroki home was dissolved; she could turn me in for kidnapping or murder.

"I… I need your help, please." I force myself to admit. My hand is running through my hair as I pace, trying to come up with a way to explain the situation without directly incriminating myself. "It's a sensitive situation…."

There isn't a response at first and something bubbles in my throat that makes it hard to breathe. If she doesn't agree I'll likely try and ween Izuku off whatever drug Shigaraki gave him myself.

"I'll be there within the hour."

The line disconnects and I numbly set the burn phone I'd been using down. I'm actually very tired at this point; I've been awake for almost twenty-four hours and there's no telling what Chiyo will do when she shows up. Coffee; that's what I need.

Every moment I spend waiting on her to arrive is like another needle whittling its way down into my neck; I don't usually feel stress so it's particularly uncomfortable. When my real phone alerts me that a motion sensor was set off at the front gate, I have to consciously calm myself before going to the entryway.

"Ssst—Ow!" I hiss, recoiling slightly as I open the door and immediately get whacked with a cane. "What's that for?"

The small elderly woman hobbles past me with an all too familiar scolding look on her face. "You know damn well what that was for, young man. It's been how long since I've heard from you? Three years?"

Had it really been that long? I guess time flies when you find your passion in life. "Sorry, Chiyo, I've been… busy."

"Uh-huh…" she hums suspiciously. "I take it this 'busyness' is why you called me in the wee hours of the morning?"

I nod and lead her to Izuku's room, quietly opening the door for us to enter. He fell asleep before I even turned off the lamp, so, I just left it on which makes it easy to see the scars on his arms and the bruises I left on his exposed neck. My breath leaves me when she steps past only to stop short and almost trip over her arthritic feet.

"Shoto…" she whispers, her eyes shifting to mine with apprehension. "Please tell me you didn't—I knew you had dark tendencies when you were young, but this is—Tell me you didn't hurt this child in such a despicable way."

"Not most of it…" I reply earnestly. I'm drawn toward the bed as Izuku lets out a little snore and lightly smacks those lips of his that have my psychopathy reeling. I sit on the edge of the bed and run the back of my fingers down his cheek, almost smiling when he unconsciously leans into the touch.

"But…" I continue, keeping my eyes averted with what I will not accept is shame. "He doesn't have to worry about the person who was keeping him prisoner anymore." It's not exactly relief that I see in my peripheral, but some of the tension eases.

"Izuku," I call, moving my hand to his shoulder to give him a gentle shake. His groggy eyes flutter open and find me. There's an initial period of blankness in his expression, but then I see the memories of the past few hours returning. It's almost like watching a video of emotions; his face flashes confusion, horror, fear, calmness, and then finally ends on a hesitant smile.

"Shot—Wait, no sorry. You're my Master now, I—"

"I'd prefer you to call me Shoto." I interrupt with a soothing squeeze to where I still have my hand on his shoulder. The flash of worry is gone, replaced by rosy cheeks and a smile as he bashfully looks away. "There's someone here I want you to meet."

Izuku jerks and flinches when he notices Chiyo; his heartbeat is so rapid I can feel it thrumming even before I run my hand lower to his chest. Just like when we first met though, his curiosity outweighs the initial wave of fear and he relaxes under my palm.

"This is Chiyo; she took care of me whenever I was hurt or sick and I asked her to come and make you feel better too."

Izuku's wide eyes shine as he looks between us and with a little assistance from me, he sits up and twists his legs off the bed so that he can face her directly. I don't really even notice that somehow my hand ended up intertwined with his in the process.

"Alright young man, let's take a look at you," Chiyo states, coming closer now that Izuku doesn't look panicked. Minutes pass as she does her examination and Izuku can't seem to take his eyes off of what she's doing, nor can I take my eyes off of him when he has that look of awe and curious excitement on his face.

"Well, he'll need round the clock fluids and probably a nutrient IV drip. No solid food for some time… he may be able to keep it down if it's mushy and plain but liquid would be better, especially with the swelling around his throat." Chiyo explains after she's finished. "The bruising will heal on its own of course… but I think I know why you felt it necessary to call me."

I nod because she still has Izuku's free arm in her tiny wrinkled hands, her fingers tracing the track marks there.

"Do you have any idea what he was giving you, child?" she directs at Izuku, who immediately looks flustered.

"I… uh… Master gave me m-medicine because I cry a lot and he wanted me to be quiet. It hurt when the needle went in but then it felt really good afterward—better than good actually… It was like floating and being warm and safe… Sometimes if I was bad, he wouldn't give it to me though and I got really sick. It hurt all over and I couldn't stop shaking and sweating."

Izuku looks over at me again when he's speaking, though not directly in my eyes. I can see the anxiety and shame in his face; he shouldn't feel that way. None of this is his fault. Chiyo is likely thinking the same thing I am if her expression is anything to go by; I might even get off the hook for murdering the S.O.B. responsible.

"That's good, Izuku… You did very well. Chiyo and I are going to let you rest; go back to sleep." I state, standing to help him lay back down. The bags under his eyes seem even more prominent now, but I've just got to hope that the old doctor can—and will—help me.

* * *

Chiyo said she needed time to review her notes before she came up with a plan to get Izuku back to health, so I ducked out to smoke. It's chilly outside as the sun starts rising, my breath coming out in little puffs of steam. This is probably another thing Izuku should not do anymore… Maybe I'll even quit with him.

"You seem to have picked up quite a few bad habits since your father _disappeared_."

I lazily look over to Chiyo as she steps onto my back porch and gives me a disapproving glare. Of course, I respond by taking a much longer, dramatic drag of my cigarette. "Did you call the police?"

I have to blink a couple of times when she settles herself down in the same spot she'd sit in whenever I wanted to go and play in the back yard. The rocking chair is probably as old as she is and creaks when she leans back into it with a sigh.

"No, Shoto. You may not have come from my belly, but you were and are still my child; I wouldn't turn you in for anything in the world. That being said, I'd be remiss if I didn't try to deter you from repeating any part of the last twenty-four hours."

"He deserved it; they all do." I scoff and she doesn't look the least bit surprised. Those 'tendencies' she'd mentioned earlier were far more blatant than she probably wants to admit even to this day. I was never the puppy killing type, but if another kid or adult pissed me off? Something unfortunate usually happened soon after.

"Why not kill the boy too? It looks to me like you got very close to doing so…"

Chain-smoking seems like a really good idea right now. I'm agitated from the question even though I knew it would come up eventually. "He doesn't deserve to suffer; he's innocent," Is the best I can come up with for an answer. It's true and I do feel that way, but I was going to murder him regardless and I can already tell that Chiyo knows that.

"Izuku must be a very special young man…" she hums and I almost cringe from that smug, 'I knew you were never truly evil' tone she uses.

"I was strangling him, slowly, intimately… He was choking for his last breathe when I decided to spare him on a whim. This obsession for Izuku that I'm consumed with is likely temporary and therefore I feel it's only fair to let you know that when it ends—and it will end, Chiyo— all the work you put into getting him healthy will be wasted."

I take another deep inhale and toss the finished cigarette away, feeling more like my old self already. Then I look in her direction and am reminded that this woman could practically read my thoughts as a child; I never got away with anything when she was around.

I know she's thinking that while I had every intention of doing such a dark act initially, I really wouldn't go through with it now. She's right as usual; I'm trying to convince myself more so than her that I haven't spontaneously gone soft without success.

"I'm going to go requisition the supplies we'll be needing… try to keep your homicidal urges in check until I get back."

My eye twitches because damn her snippy sarcastic ass tone. I do little more than pout, however, mumbling about how the only reason she's getting away with talking to me like that is that she's ancient and not worth killing when nature is going to do my work for me. Lies. All lies and I'm not even going to pretend it's not this time.

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**Chiyo is Recovery Girl by the way-Just in case someone didn't know XD**

**Thanks for reading this update! Feel free to leave me a comment, follow me on Twitter (Agirl2223), or check out my other stories if you want! **

**Also, with the country opening back up- Stay Safe!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for reading *especially the people who keep reading even though my posting is so sporadic* :) I really appreciate your support!**

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Shatter Me

Chapter 6

I'm so groggy when I wake up it takes me a moment to realize where I am. I mean, I don't actually know where I am, but Shoto brought me here so that's all that matters. It seems like forever before I'm able to get my eyes to focus, everything seeming blurry no matter how many times I blink.

When I finally do sit up, I'm back to being confused. My shirt is missing, and the sheets seem to have changed color… There's also a needle in my arm that's hooked up to several bags on a metal rack, a weird wrap on my other arm, and little sticky pads with wires all over my chest that connect to a screen with numbers on it.

I know something is different about myself though. How long did I sleep? Usually when I wake up after sleeping a long time, the sick feeling I told Ms. Chiyo about is really bad, but I'm only a little achy this time; it's a major relief.

What's even more exciting though, is the sunlight filtering in from behind the closed curtains of the window—_my_ window. It takes considerable maneuvering to get out of the comfortable bed and figure out how to move with my many cords and tubes, but I get it down eventually and make my way over.

Breathtaking isn't near the sensation I feel when I hesitantly peel back the thick cloth and peer out. Everything is so colorful… There's the deep blue of the sky and billowing white clouds, and so many shades of red and orange that I can't even begin to count them. I touch the glass and it's cold, which I think is strange since it's the perfect temperature in here. The wind blows and I can almost feel it on my skin, I want to be out there so badly.

"How are you feeling, Izuku?"

I jump a little and quickly close the curtain, turning to face Shoto guiltily. Master was loud when he was coming to see me, but I didn't even hear the door open or close this time. I keep my eyes low and curl my upper body submissively; Shoto said this room is mine but so was the one Master put me in and I wasn't supposed to go near the window there.

The screen with the numbers on it starts beeping loudly, which makes me even more nervous. I don't know what's happening and feel my eyes start to sting and water, a string of incoherent apologizes and explanations tumbling from my lips. Shoto, however, crosses the rest of the distance to me and runs the backs of his fingers down my cheek with one hand, reaching past me with the other and pulling the curtain back completely.

"You're not in trouble; I will even move your bed over to this wall so that you may look outside whenever you wish."

I don't even know what to say… Thank you seems hollow and doesn't fully encompass the gratitude I feel. All I manage to do is smile through the wonderous burning in my face while I look up at his ever kind eyes.

"You should still be in bed young man," I hear, turning to find Ms. Chiyo making her way into the room. "Your body is still far too weak to be pushed right now."

Her words are direct, but she has a smile on her face, so I don't think I'm truly being scolded. In any case, I let Shoto lead me back over; I am actually pretty tired. Something smells really good, however, and I'm certain it's coming from the little cart she brought with her. My mouth is watering already and I might have started drooling at some point, but that's not important. If I even get a taste of whatever she brought with her, I'll be happy.

"I can already see that you're going to be tempted to start gulping the moment I give this to you, but don't, Izuku," Chiyo states as she ladles what looks like broth into a mug with a lid and straw. "You're not frail to the point of death but I don't want to risk upsetting your stomach so soon after your detox."

It's a real effort for me to do as she says, but I force myself to only take a sip once the warming liquid is given to me. "Detox?" I mimic, hoping her explanation will help keep my attention at least partially off of drinking more. She looks at Shoto however, clearly leaving the decision to respond up to him. He had moved back when she got to the bed but didn't go far, standing a few feet away with his arms crossed.

"You had something in your body that was hurting you… After you went back to sleep, Chiyo put you into a deeper sleep and helped you get rid of it." He explains and I'm fascinated.

I have so many questions… _How did it get in me? Why was it there? Will it come back? Can I see it?_ They flash through my mind so quickly I can't even begin to sort through them. I must have asked a least a few back to back though because Chiyo is chuckling and Shoto looks mildly overwhelmed.

"Curious little fellow, aren't you?" she hums, giving my cheek a pinch in the process. I think that probably makes my already flushed face burn brighter, but I can hardly help it. Still, as I hesitantly look back to Shoto to see if I've upset him, I'm put at ease… He's smiling too.

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Being quiet was something I learned from a young age. Whether I was sneaking down to the kitchen for a desperate bite to eat after being starved for days or stealthily slipping tacks into a bullies tennis shoes before gym class, silence was key. Over the years, especially as I became older and began indulging my darker fantasies, skulking became more of a habit than a conscious effort.

As such, I don't really mean to spy on Izuku, it just sort of happens. One minute I'll be doing something totally normal and important like reviewing documents for my inherited company and the next I'll wonder what my ward is doing. When I can't stand it anymore and go to check on him I just… I can't help but… observe.

Sometimes he's staring out his window with his head tilted back, watching the cloudy sky as it drizzles sleet and splashes frigid drops of rain at the glass his face is pressed against. Other times he's sprawled out on his bed, flipping through picture books with wide eyes and the most wondrous grin. No matter what it is he's doing though, it seems wrong for me to interrupt.

For whatever reason, I can't seem to get myself to leave him be either. I just stand there like the degenerate stalker that I am and peer in through the partially open doorway, watching him until I'm caught. Izuku doesn't mind though… even when he nearly jumps out of his skin in the middle of the night because he wakes up and sees my mismatched eyes gleaming at the edge of his moonlight lit room.

'Shoto?' he'll call in confusion, his voice sweet and loving like I'm the only thing in the world that matters to him. My heart always skips a beat when he does this, and I'm drawn out from the shadows that I've grown so comfortable hiding in… pulled right into the brightness of his adoring smile. He doesn't seem to understand that I'm just as evil as his last master was even if it's in a different way.

I take another bite of my dinner as I contemplate the rather problematic relationship he and I have stumbled into, debating for the umpteenth time if I should take my chances with the law and let him go… questioning myself about if I **_could_** let him go.

"Are you happy here, Izuku?" I ask. It's not the first time I've queried him about this and I doubt it will be the last, but I need reassurance—I need him to say yes so that I can stifle the upheaval in my conscience that keeps reminding me that he's my prisoner even if he doesn't realize it.

As expected I receive another blinding smile, this one somewhat awkward as he attempts to keep half-chewed food in his bulging cheeks. Izuku nods vigorously as he swallows and my gut clenches with both guilt and relief.

"Is there anything you want?" I ask next, knowing full well that giving him gifts won't make me feel any better.

"Umm…" he hums, an adorable frown growing on his face as he puts way too much thought into what he should ask for—if anything. I've told him repeatedly that he may have whatever he desires in whatever quantity he desires, but Izuku doesn't care for material things. "Could we have Katsudon for dinner tomorrow?"

I sweat-drop a little on the inside and feel my lips twitch into my own warped attempt at a grin; that's exactly what we had tonight, and the night before that, and the night before that… Chiyo is going to have an absolute fit when she finds out that I failed to 'diversify his diet' as she's repeatedly instructed me to do.

"Of course, Izuku." I reply. The way his expression makes me feel is intoxicating and addictive; I can't help but want to do something more to actually earn such a look—something deserving of his unconditional affection.

"C-could we try to eat it in… in… uh…" he fumbles, his cheeks paling even as determination burns in his slightly panicked eyes.

I reach up and hold my hand near him, waiting to be sure he sees it before brushing my knuckles down his rapidly dampening temple. "Shhh…" I coo. "It's alright, Izuku. You're never going to hurt again, remember? I promised. We can try to eat in the dining room again and if you get too uncomfortable going out of your room, then we'll just eat in here like we have been."

He manages to let out a little of the air he'd sucked in and held, tension melting from his raised shoulders. It's moments like these where I struggle with myself the most; Izuku has been hurt so much… so deeply. I calm him down when he's distressed and he truly seems happy, but he has no idea what his life should have been like—should**_ be_**. He needs to be influenced by more than just a serial murderer like me, doesn't he?

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I can hear shuffling and the distinctive tapping of a cane on the floor as I stare off into the distance of my lamp-lit office. It's late but I couldn't sleep, my mind still stuck on the dilemma I'd been considering earlier.

"Izuku's health is improving rapidly..." Chiyo states as she hobbles through the door and sits in the chair across from me.

"But?" I question, picking up on her qualifying statement from the way her voice drifted off at the end.

Chiyo sighs and thumbs the file she'd carried in with her, weighing her words carefully. "Izuku is a very damaged young man, Shoto... Even if I'm able to heal his body, there are wounds to his mind that I'm simply not qualified to tend to. He needs external stimulation and experiences beyond what is available in the confines of your house."

I sigh and rub my face as I lean back in my chair, hating that she's not only right but also reminding me of the very thing that has been plaguing my every waking thought for days. It's not that I don't want Izuku to get better, but I'm concerned about what it could mean for me—for us.

To be frank, Izuku has no reliable concept of right and wrong; everything he's learned was from Shigaraki who epitomized corruption. It isn't far-fetched to think that Izuku would outright tell someone what I did to his 'Master' because he doesn't understand that I killed Shigaraki in cold blood and then kidnapped him from the man that had stolen him in the first place...

Allowing Izuku to interact with other people is asking for legal trouble and though I'm fairly certain I'd be able to avoid any truly serious punishments, there isn't any doubt I'd lose him in the process. No matter what reason though, the bottom line is that I'm being selfish and can't seem to do the right thing.

"It seems to me that you've already been considering what I just told you, Shoto..." Chiyo hums, her voice gentle with understanding. "I know you care for Izuku and I'm so happy that you've found someone that you can truly feel affection for, but think of his needs as well."

"I could—"

"No," Chiyo interrupts. "I know you think you could take Izuku out and 'show him the world' but that's not feasible. You're Shoto Todoroki, the son of Enji Todoroki—you're the chosen heir to one of the largest fortunes in the world as well as CEO to Endeavor Corp. There's no way you could take him out in daylight and not be seen by someone. Honestly, with how rabid the paparazzi are these days I'm not sure how you've managed to not get caught murdering people yet..."

"I go out at night..." I mumble spitefully, once again annoyed that she's right.

Though it burns me to my very core, I can't help but fall back on my last-ditch option for keeping Izuku as my 'ward'. "What if I hired someone to patrol the area or take Izuku to places that I couldn't get away with going to? Would that be sufficient?"

Chiyo deflates a little and I can see that she's disappointed in my continued refusal to let Izuku go, but she considers my weak proposal anyway, sighing. "That would be a good start..."

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**:) Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter (and will enjoy future ones). **

**Leave a review if you want!**


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